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Cornfedtrouble: Only the names and "Sense of Place" changes

Cornfedtrouble

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Location: Volga, SD, United States

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Only the names and "Sense of Place" changes

(click the title to see the poster)

Rereading God Signs One More Time
3 x 4 x 5


Suppose you were the king
A confessor king with no sons,
only imitation nephews
An illiterate group with grave responsibilities:
Protecting island domains from Vikings.

Charged with creating a language for Shakespeare
Whom you cannot imagine
and no one has ever talked about.
(English teachers being only a sci-fi improbability
in a genre that does not exist as yet.)

The town crier is not interested in history
Greek is the language of antiquity
Your imitation nephew is Harold the Earl
You have no Odysseus myth to emulate
Only priests that fear the almighty God.

The damn fool Harold goes off to Normandy
Gets captured by some left over Scythian thugs
So he pulled an Esau maneuver and lost his birthright
to this Norman (read French) Duke
Before you can make a decision, that might kill you,

William being of fertile mind and idyll dreams
Decides it is time to save Macbeth for the French
Remember Harold can’t read
The Vikings are still on this Odin kick
Your island is on their list in place of Denmark

William bought a priest of his own
Created a new myth about how you are his uncle
I mean, who could be serious about a guy named Harold
anyway, unless you’re Norwegian? William is
the Jacob type with a David sense of conquest to satisfy.

Which is to say, he had knights but no real enemies
And the now king dies just when this story gets going
The trouble with Normandy is, it’s okay for dairy cows
But you can only cut so much cheese,
the wool market is in the dumps, and a whole Bayeaux

full of needle workers are looking for part-time.
What was needed was something to promote tourism
Your advisors suggest war as a good theme
A comet, later known as Halley’s Comet appears,
In a flush of genius, Williams decides:

“I am going to England to claim my uncles’s crown.”
The same crown that Harold had been given by his priests
(Priests came cheap in those days.
Every bloody warrior could afford his own
since the Pope hadn’t invented indulgences yet.)

I mean what was a poor clerical sap to do, pray?
Well yeah, and how do you live on that?
“Sell out to the government, it’s a religious tradition!
That’s what we need, more kings with money to spend!”
So William decides to build a fleet of boats,

That gets everyone excited,
Gave the restless knights something to dream about,
And it made it easier to get to England.
Crossing the channel to do battle at Hastings
In a year when Halley’s comet appears in the sky.

Sounds like a best seller to me.
Didn’t Mark Twain have an encounter with Halley’s comet?
No I think it was Ronald Reagan and a UFO.
I am not very good at details but the story is familiar,
Every time God gets involved, something bad happens.

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10 Comments:

Blogger ...deb said...

What a trip through my heritage. I like how you ended this.

8:37 AM  
Blogger gautami tripathy said...

Ironic, isn't it? Religion brings out the worst in us..

9:28 AM  
Blogger wendy said...

That gets everyone excited,
Gave the restless knights something to dream about

love this.

And the part about indulgences..and priests actually praying..

and the whole time I was thinking of Harold..from Harold and Maude..which gave a rather odd spin to this.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Jo said...

I love how you always shake it up! Very clever.

12:19 PM  
Blogger paisley said...

what a spin you took with the prompt this wee... excellent deduction s and very well written...

ps i like the bigger box... thank you

12:20 PM  
Blogger tumblewords said...

OMG. I laugh just before I cry. This is a startling take on place - and history gone bad.

1:28 PM  
Blogger HL said...

Incredible Comet Bigger than the Sun - Yahoo! News

4:52 PM  
Blogger aka Danny Wise said...

Hey, I think you've just booked your place in history!

5:29 PM  
Blogger Tiel Aisha Ansari said...

Love that poster. And the poem points up some of the things I love (and love to hate) about the English language and how it evolved...

I'm also asking you to participate in a poetry meme that's going around the blogosphere: details at http://knockingfrominside.blogspot.com/2007/11/poetry-meme.html

because I think you have an interesting approach, and also more experience than a lot of us.

11:30 AM  
Blogger dick jones said...

Clever & entertaining. A sort of heretical Bayeux Tapestry!

4:51 PM  

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